But Waiting Sometimes Feels so Long

I wrote this almost exactly two years ago, but never shared it. It seems fitting to post it now almost two years later from when it was pinned. I changed a few things from the original and added the last stanza tonight.

But waiting sometimes feels so long.

So she buried her head in her covers

She wept on her bed late at night.

 

I wish and I hope….. but I stop myself there,

No more wishing nor hoping! Aren’t we to enjoy the now?

Aren’t I to love what I am given instead of always wishing?

 

But still my heart hopes and I cannot change that.

But waiting sometimes feels so long,

And the pain feels too strong and I feel so alone.

 

I can shut out the emotions, it works for a time.

I turn out the light and it grows dark inside.

Can anyone see me here, can anyone understand?

 

I’ve lived too long, but I’ve lived too short.

My life is a contradiction, a dance, a song,

A heart break, a mistake so it seems at times.

 

But waiting sometimes feels so long,

And yet giving up is not an end,

And so I begin again.

 

Scared to be alone, yet afraid to be loved,

Happy for my freedom, but wanting that bond,

Living with laughter but crying inside.

 

Keep myself busy, forget that pain exists.

Somehow I will make it through,

It’s that daily grind.

 

Plead for grace, and fight in this uncommon race,

Living but dying, trying not to be afraid.

Confident that he promises and his Word is kept.

 

His love. I remember, but I forget.

Oh, his love it holds me fast, it keeps me close.

He knows my pain and walks through it all holding my tiny hand.

 

Lead me on! Lead me on!

But oh, the waiting sometimes feels too long.

And so I cry, but grace lifts up my head and morning will come.

 

The wretch that I am. The rebel.

But give me Jesus. Yet straying once again.

Oh, how my heart wanders, Lord, from thee!

 

Through waiting and weeping,

Though it may seem too long,

Yet joy will come in the morning.

There is grace in every song.

 

May God's will be done.