The Contemplations of a Single Woman
Today has been a rather quiet day. I sit in the house alone, because all my roommates have gone to visit their family over Thanksgiving break. My home being too far away, I stay here.
The house is very still; no one to talk to except myself and I am not one who talks aloud to myself very often, thus, quietness reigns.
Many thoughts have gone through my head in the tranquility of it all. Every woman dreams of getting married some day. I can't say that I have not done my share of the same. In fact, being alone some times makes me want to get married all the more, for there is one thing that I hate and that is being in a house all alone. It makes me sad; no one to talk to; no one to listen to; just no one except myself. Some people would love it; they like the quiet; they don't care to talk; they don't want to hear the nonsense of others; they just want a book and a quiet nook. Yet me, I can't hardly even read a book if I am by myself, because its just to lonely. Being alone in the house makes me think that I could probably never be one of those single women and that marriage is definitely my calling. But then maybe that is not true after all. I could always keep myself so busy that I would never have to be alone or think about being alone, thus, maybe singleness is my calling.
Then I start cooking myself a meal and I realize that once again I have made myself way to much and, well, it sure would be nice to have a husband to share it with. Maybe marriage is my calling after all. On second thought, I wouldn't need a husband to share my food with, I could just be really hospitable and always be having company so that I would have people to cook for. Not only that, but I would feel sorry for my husband if he had to sit across from me and watch me eat, because my manners just aren't that lovely. Only thing is, that needs to change any way if I am going to have guests all the time, because they would be no less disgusted over me than a husband would.
Then another thought comes to my head, I love children! I love holding wee little babies; kissing chubby cheeks; wiping away tears; listening to toddlers say big words. I could never be single, because I just have to have kids. Actually, I could just have an orphanage, then I could be with lots of kids all the time.
Well, my brain and my heart continue to argue back and forth between marriage and singleness. The conclusion it always comes down to is this, God is in control of my life and if he would be most glorified by my getting married than I will in his timing. Yet if God will be more glorified in my being single all my life, than that is what I shall be, and I shall be a happy single girl, too.
Right now I am single and it is a glorious thing and a gift from God. I can continue to cook and cook lots for my roommates or anyone else. I can babysit children and love them like crazy. I can be in the house by myself and clean, write, or read and not be sad, because I will soon have roommates coming back who I can talk and listen to and not only that, but I have homework to do and that should keep me busy for a while.
Well, enough random thoughts for today. I must get busy. Much to be done. With thorough cleaning and homework glooming, I must skid-daddle.
The crazy girl,