A Single's Gift of Singleness



Sometimes I wallow in self-pity and mope around because I still remain single to this day (although, honestly, I am really not that old and so am really not that concerned about it).

I am that girl that has always wanted to get married and have children, but here I sit writing this post as a 22 year old who has never been even asked out on a date (and who also should be doing her homework right now and not writing blog posts at all. Ahem!).

But as I was thinking the other day and most likely trying to comfort myself over still being single, I was struck with just how blessed I am to still be single.

So many of my young friends (many of them younger than I) are either dating, engaged, or already married.

As I thought about it, it struck me that some of these friends have hardly even experienced any sort of single life. Some of them have not even made it through one year of college without being in a relationship.

Although it is by no means wrong to get in a relationship or get married at a young age and is often the calling God has over someone’s life, I also know that these people although blessed immeasurably in another way, are also missing out to a certain extent, the joys and blessings of being single.

It hit me the other day that as much as I long to be married and as much as I have longed to be married ever since I was a little girl, I would not trade these single years for anything.

I have had amazing opportunities to serve in my church, reach out to others, and love my brothers and sisters in Christ, not to mention that the single years are such beautiful and ripe years for growing in my love for Christ and the gospel. These things cannot be had to the same extent for one who is in a relationship because much of their time is taken up with getting to know the other person.

This is not at all to condemn the ones in a relationship or married, but rather to encourage myself and others who are still single to not miss the beautiful opportunities that singleness provides.

I want to live my single years with a passion, zeal, and purpose.

Whether God has marriage for me some day or not, I want to be able to look back over these years and see all the beauty in it.

As I continued to reflect on singleness, several godly young women came to my mind who are also still single themselves, women who I highly look up too and see as really godly women.

Women who I long to see married to the most godly men.

These are single women in their late 20s or early 30s, and that is part of what makes me look up to them so much.

The fact that these women have lived as a single woman longer than some, has made these women who they are today.

It has given them the inner beauty and strength that they have today.

I admire them because of their love for Christ and their passion and zeal to serve him, but they didn’t get there in just a day.

They are who they are in Christ today because of the pains and struggles that they have gone through as a single woman who most likely does long for marriage, yet has learned to lean ever closer to Christ and live their live solely for him, whether marriage be in the future for them or not.

The beauty that I see in these women is a beauty and strength that I want to have and I am willing and even desirous to live my entire life as a single woman if that is how God can grow me most in him and in his love.

Marriage is a beautiful thing and I do not at all mean for this post to look down upon those who are married or young and dating nor do I mean for this post to sound like single women are better than the married one.
But rather if God chooses for you to remain single forever or simply just longer than maybe many of your friends than see that as a beautiful treasure and gift from God.

Comments

  1. Hannah, you are a gift from the Lord. God is making you more beautiful every day. I love to see His glory shining through you. You are blessed and you are a blessing! May we all not waste the place God has us at at this moment. Whether single or married, we need to live for the glory of God and be content in that place.

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  2. Hannah, I have to say this is my favorite post by you yet! I so often struggle to put into words why I don't really care right now that I am single! Thank you for helping me! I can do it if I think about it, but you just put the words in my head! Thank you for the reminder! Being single really is a gift! I agree about seeing other people my age being married or in a relationship. I honestly see that and get overwhelmed on their behalf! I can't imagine stepping into that promise right now in life! And like you said, I also want God to use my single years for growing in my love for Christ and the gospel!

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  3. Hannah, I've been thinking a lot about this subject lately too! Is it just me or do Christians tend to see singleness as an advantage in every possible respect? Singles are less spiritually mature because they haven't gotten married and experienced the incredible spiritual superpowers that come with the sanctifying experience of a marriage and family. Singles are less happy because they aren't married and married equals happiness, obviously. Except not.

    I think it's in 1 Corinthians 7? where Paul talks about how he wishes everyone could be [single] like him, not that being single is somehow better or more pious than marriage, but singleness does have its advantages just like marriage does. Singles are free from worldly cares. They can commit their whole lives to the work of Christ's Kingdom in ways that married couples can't. Take Paul, for example, as someone with incredible joy in Christ, who loved the church extravagantly, and spread the Gospel relentlessly, but he remained single his whole life. And I don't think if you asked Paul that he would say he felt he missed out because he didn't get married or that his life was empty.

    We all are called to singleness, whether it's forever or for a time, and I don't think Christians really have singleness figured out. We shouldn't treat it like it's just a waiting period and we're just sitting around doing nothing until we get married, start a family, and really start living.

    Okay, that rant was a little longer than I anticipated...but all this to say that, I know the frustration you feel and I know that the church doesn't always do a good job for encouraging and mobilizing singles instead of simply telling them to "wait" until they can get married.

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

    Dani xoxo
    a vapor in the wind

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    Replies
    1. I just realized I said "advantage" when I meant to say "disadvantage" in that first question...ooopps! :P

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  4. Nice post! ( I am not that age yet but...........................)
    ~A funny little sugar

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